Handyperson hysteria disorder or, as it’s more commonly known, DIYtis strikes an average of three in 10 individuals. Symptoms include the following.
You find yourself spending an average of 2.5 hours dwelling on a 1/4″ miscalculation. Related to this, you have the irresistible compulsion to point out each error to visitors as soon as they walk in the door.
You exhibit a chronic coating of spray insulation, caulking and paint on hands, elbows, knees and other extremities.
You have a tendency to, when visiting people’s houses, admire the work and, conversely, point out (in a jocular, ribbing fashion, of course) where they should have coped instead of mitered.
You find a variety of screws, nails, wire connectors etc. in your pockets on any given day.
You experience strange flashbacks to childhood visits to the toy store upon browsing the power tool aisle.
You’re really glad you’re not paying yourself by the hour.
You have a tendency to hang on to pieces of wire, small sections of aluminum flat stock, pieces of 2×4 longer than four inches, and other miscellany, and have a consequential inability to find these items (despite a distinct memory of having seen them) when they actually might come in handy.
You feel a euphoric desire to tackle a new project on Saturday morning, followed by ribbing from fellow sufferers as the project joins the list of other unfinished projects which have suddenly become chores.
You feel the uncontrollable urge to discuss the merits of various table saws, drywall screws vs. nails, and the best way to wire a two-way switch at cocktail parties.
You have at least three fixes which you have referred to as “temporary” for more than three years.
If you have any of these symptoms, you should consult us immediately.